The magnitude of each moment is miraculous, indeed. It is not so much what plays out for us that can be designed to a great degree (which can be grand and glorious), but I'm speaking of how it plays out; its long term impact.
Thirty years ago (and more), I taught Junior Highers part-time in addition to what I was already doing. Wow and Whoa! I found out fast that JH's show you nothing, tell you nothing, they don't miss a thing, and they don't forget anything. There wasn't a day that I didn't humorously say on my way to the car (in Groucho Marks fashion) as a means to resolve and release to keep on keeping on, "Yep... that made a lot of difference!" Then, I would sit in my car and start working through what I did know as compared to what I didn't know, because I wasn't seeing it, hearing it, or feeling it. Yet, deep down inside, I knew I was having an influence.
Just in case you didn't just catch it right there, right there is the key to sanity and success: You need to operate from what you know rather than how you feel. Emotions are fickle at face value. The truth is trustworthy.
So, I kept at it with everything I had, and lo and behold... 29ish years later, I started hearing from the JH's via email. They found me on the internet; didn't see that one coming! Most of the emails had the same format: started with 'hope you remember me', followed by an extensive update on their life, and then, closed with a final statement of their assessment of me and what I did for them.
The first young man who contacted me ended his email with the following assessment: "Outside of the Principle, who was my Dad, you were the most influential teacher to get me to where I am today." Whoa! Not a clue. I knew that I was having an influence, but no clue to the degree of impact and influence that I was having in that young man's life.
I got this last one from a young lady in that class. She ended her email with this personal statement: "You were the only man growing up that I didn’t fear." Can you get a sense and a feel of her historical experience way back there in her environment?! I knew nothing about it. So glad I stayed the course.
Principle Five: Things you do are larger than you can really see... and more long lasting!
People will come into our lives and for the most part, we will not know much of all that is going on in their life. We need to understand that they are there right on time and for a real purpose, and make sure that we fulfill our role in their lives regardless of what we see, hear, and feel. We know that we are having a long-term impact in their lives... either positively or negatively. And in all of that, don't ever forget the Ripple Effect; your work keeps on going in them and in others as they touch others with how you touched them.
Believe the truth and don't become weary in well-doing; it will come to fruition. Stay on course!
Even though it was decades ago, I still feel the sting of it; a sharp and precise surgical stroke that sliced deep.
Days were running into each other and the tension of multiple plates (projects) being spun while balanced was mounting to an all time high. That which seemed to make so much sense all along the way, began to fray in the face of growing demands that I did not envision when it all started. Blinded by my mounting emotional fervency, my expectations of others via my demands became unbearable for those around me. From my view, they had some real problems! From theirs (which was not being considered nor read on my instrument panel), I was flying upside down and no longer on the originally mapped course.
At a crucial juncture, in the heat of the moment, in the middle of an intense conversation, one entangled individual pointedly and purposefully said to me, “You think you’re God!”
That is when I began to lose altitude… big time!
Principle Four: You may appear larger than you actually are !It doesn’t arrive instantaneously in most cases; it is a gradual eroding or chipping away of a right perception, which finds itself in redefining yourself and everyone around you.
Others began to appear inept compared to my competence.
Others seemed indolent compared to my commitment.
Others were irrelevant compared to my significance.
[ still stings as it is shared once again ]
All the signs were there, but I was not paying attention to the things that mattered most. What mattered most to me was me… and how I felt in each moment. People became a MEANS to an END, and the end was ME.
And… that pretty much was the end of me... at least in that way of seeing things! Things, indeed, changed.
We need to define each other rightly at all times; a right and proper respect for who they are. And, we need to stay clear of taking on things that are not ours to take on; a right and proper respect for what they do.
Forgiveness was the key to getting back on course way back then, and it still remains the answer for when we “get too big for our britches” in today's culture.
Fly in the right direction… right side up!